Want to Reduce Stress? Make Yourself Safe with You.
Neil Fiore, PhD
When You, from the perspective of your compassionate, leadership Self say the following statements
to the frightened and overwhelmed parts of you, You are:
- Sending a message of safety that turns off the stress response and stress hormones
- Transiting to a new, robust self-image that is stronger and wiser than your usual default and limited ego-identity
- Accessing deep inner resources [Left & Right brain] to cope more effectively with life as it is now
- Reducing the stress and anxiety of your ego struggling alone, as if separated from the wisdom of your body, subconscious genius, and the support of the laws of the Universe
- Empowered to play a protective role toward your body and life from your new, Higher Self perspective and effective leadership voice
You, from an expanded identity, are empowered to protect your body and smaller “egos,” by guiding them toward inner peace and safety. In the compassionate voice of your adult, protection self, you replace stress and self-threat with safety; replace anxiety with presence in this moment, and replace separateness with connection to a larger support system inside and outside by saying:
- Even if … I’m frustrated or depressed, I accept myself and my body.
- Regardless of what happens in life, your worth is always safe with me. I will not make you feel bad. [You can use “Whatever happens” or “No matter what happens” instead of “Regardless.”]
- Regardless of what you can or cannot do, you are always worthwhile.
- Regardless of whether you win or lose, you deserve love, pleasure, and freedom from self-criticism.
- Regardless of what happens to you, you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. I will always respect my life and my body.
- Regardless of who stays or who goes, I am on my side. I will always be with you.
- Regardless of how ill or healthy you become, I appreciate the effort, wisdom, and protection given me by you, my body and my spirit.
- Regardless of how intense your emotions become, I acknowledge their validity for you, and I accept them completely. I am strong enough to be with your emotions.
- Regardless of how uncomfortable others are with you, your feelings or your body, I will always accept you and remain at peace with you.
- Regardless of your problems and issues, I accept you and love you completely.
- Regardless of the health or weakness of my body, I can always heal my spirit.
Note: these are not the typical positive affirmations. You’ll find them more powerful because you are not trying to convince yourself that everything is okay. You are now your stronger Self speaking to a small part of you––a part that is easily overwhelmed because it acts as if separated from your larger support system. You are now empowered to protect and guide these parts that have limited, out-dated ways of coping with your life.
Imagine you’re holding a crying infant, reassuring him or her that: 1. Someone has shown up who is strong enough to be with all its emotions and physical upset; 2. You are no longer alone; and
3. You now can accept the child and yourself as human, free of the pressure to be perfect and invulnerable.
© Neil Fiore, Ph.D., 1998-2013 All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy, or distribute provided this copyright notice and the following contact information is attached: Neil Fiore, PhD, 1496 Solano Ave., Albany, CA 94706 510/ 525-2673 www.neilfiore.com firstname.lastname@example.org Coaching: www.neilfiore.com/neil/executive-and-personal-coaching Keynotes: www.neilfiore.com/neil/speaking-and-seminars